I’m sandwiched between Iona Toyboy, the glamredhead, and Tara Moore, the foxybunny.
Author Archives: Chinta Woo-Allcock
Adjusting my expectations.
Now forty, I have come to a realisation that my body is no longer capable of shedding off weight easily. And that it wouldn’t be hard for me to put on either.
The last month of 2013 was not pretty. While on a 3-day conference at the University of Malaya in Kuala Lumpur, the organisers did not disappoint when it came to the buffet spread for the two daily breaks between presentations, and the lunches. Unlike boring and dry wraps, cold and uninspiring sandwiches and blah pastries you get when you attend conferences in Australia, the Malaysian university had daily smorgasbord of Asian delicacies, mostly fried and/or oily, laden with coconut milk and/or cream, spiced and spicy, and the sweetest of sweet traditional desserts – my kind of grub. I’d be the first to hit the buffet area and one of the last to leave.
In Singapore to visit family, I was constantly in a state of trying to digest food, particularly those that I missed while in Australia – satay, sting ray with sambal, char kuey teow, oyster omelette, nasi padang, kaya toast, hainanese chicken rice…These did not include my daily carb-loaded breakfast including nasi lemak and paratha with chicken curry, among others, bought lovingly by my father. And, mum’s amazing cooking which I would have two or three helpings at one go. As you can see, I love my food.
To cut the story short, over the course of two weeks of vaca-face-stuffing-tion in Kuala Lumpur and Singapore, I put on close to 3kg. Now at home, while clearing and organising my show dresses, I found that many I could no longer fit, are too tight or would have unsightly folds around the midsection when previously they were not evident.
I want to be as slim as my (supermodel) daughter – but I know this not realistic nor remotely possible. I need adjust this expectation and work more towards aging healthily and maintain a reasonable body weight. I think I can manage this for 2014.
My daughter, Senja.
I’ve always wanted a cat. But now I have a greyhound.
Senja is her name.
Senja is special. She is one of the 40% of 20,000 greyhounds bred annually in Australia that never go on to race. She would have been one of the approximately 3,000 greyhounds that are euthanised because they are not cut out for racing. In the racing industry, they are called ‘wastage’ and hence, should be disposed. Euthanasia is one way of getting rid of wastages. Some end up in vets as blood and/or organ donors – then, euthanised. Others are shot dead or hammered on the head. Senja’s friends with racing careers experience the same fate too when they are no longer fast enough, usually by the age of 3 – 4. Or, they are injured, which happens quite frequently in races with an estimation of one injury (or death) in one race alone. For greyhounds, it’s a no-win situation being in the racing industry. For more atrocities faced by Senja’s friends, go here:
Deciding to adopt Senja has been one of the best things that I have done for myself in 2013. And I hope that it is the same for her. If you would like to know more about adopting a greyhound in Queensland, drop me a message. xxx Chinta
new year, new face?
I’ve been told that I have one face.
At a recent charity event a queen said I stole her ‘face’. Gnurl, which part of your face did I steal? We look like any other queen on the planet who uses the black liner, brown socket, highlight, lowlight, shadowed cheeks-temples-forehead drag make-up 101 technique. Your ‘face’ is not original – neither is mine. Someone started the ‘face’ – it certainly ain’t you sista. So you should stop alleging that others are stealing your face. Get it patented and then we can talk about ‘stealing’.
I would like to think that her comment was in jest. But I was affected nevertheless. I’ve had my face for as long as I can remember. It is my identity. In all honesty, I’m very scared of experimenting with my face. Not that I’ve not tried. I did. But I always came back to what I know. I’m envious of queens who are chameleons when it comes to doing faces. Alas, I’m not one of them.
In the middle of 2013, when I was away on a sabbatical – yes, I’m intelligent too – I was contemplating on making myself more ‘contemporary’, whatever that means. One of the considerations was to change this face. I was missing/away long enough from the scene to allow me to come up with something new, something refreshing. A friend suggested that I should come up with a story like ‘a dingo ate my face’ to complement this face-changing plan. This didn’t materialise. The only change that actually happened was my mid-section and that I had to get a new corset for it.
I’ve recently hit the big 40 – and I’m liking what I see in the mirror after 2 hours of plastering all the products on my face. It’s a familiar face. It has aged. Still pretty. But slightly wrinkled than it first started. I think I’m finally comfortable in my own face. So, regardless of what others say, I’ll keep this face.
Come to think of it, I do have variations of this one face.
I was a former beauty queen.
So, I 
was a beauty queen.
I was a former Ms Australia.
A former Ms Gay Australia to be precise.
I can still vividly remember it. It was almost 1 am at Yarraville Club, Melbourne 2011. In my resplendent red, glittery fish tail gown and bright Lady Danger from MAC, I sashayed down the catwalk, my left hand elegantly balancing the tiara so that it would not fall off my head (that would be embarrassing). The other hand tightly grasping the heavy, clear plaque inscribed with the words ‘MS GAY AUSTRALIA 2011 – WINNER’. My middle finger on the same hand tightly clasping the few stems from the complimentary bouquet. I smiled from one chandelier earring to another, making eyes at the blinding flashes. I didn’t know who were behind the flashes – it didn’t matter, it was my time to shine. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was wearing a pair of black heels which didn’t match my gown. But, I didn’t care and smiled away anyway until my cheeks grew tired and the flashes subsided. Then, quietly I made my way to the dressing room, packed my weaves (I had 3 weave changes), my costumes that were strewn on the floor and my gold ZU heels that was meant to go with the red gown. I said my goodbyes and air-cheek-kissed the other contestants and headed to my hotel room.
To be honest, I wasn’t 100% shocked that I had won. I knew that if I had prepared and performed well, I would stand a good chance – just like any other contestant. The win, I reckon, was also because I have always been competitive and always try to excel in whatever I do. I won 3 out of the 5 subsidiary awards too – the most treasured was Best in Talent. When the emcee called out my name for the win, I convincingly feigned the ‘beauty-queen surprise’ – one hand placed on the chest, the other covered the agaped mouth, eyes opened wide and head shook from left-to-right but not too intensely.
After the whirlwind win, back in Brisbane, I received some flak from a couple of queens. Of course they were hurtful. And of course, I was affected. A few days after, I chose not to listen to nor dwell in the negativity. I had worked hard for the title and to win the monsta of a tiara, goddamit! And no one can put me down for the little achievements that I’ve made for myself.
This year, my successor is Martini Ice from the Gold Coast. I was ecstatic to hear that a sista from Queensland had won the title. I know Martini, not too well, but enough to know she is deserving of the win. Her heart is as big as her bossom. A beautiful person and an amazeball of a performer. I wish her all the best and that her journey will be as fulfilling and enriching as mine.
xxxChinta
Queer, Queer, Queerio
It was such a balmy Saturday morning that my 2-inch thick MAC foundation almost slid off my face. I was trying oh-so-hard to look the part of the hawt-hostest-with-the-mostest but my lashes decided not to stick and my weave was limp although I’d tonnes of lacquer in it – enough to puncture another hole in the ozone layer. Oh-how-so-unglam! Day drag has never been flattering (nor comfortable) and this was one of those days. But,the show had to go on.
The show was QUEERIOSITY, an annual alcohol-free youth festival created by the dedicated people from Open Doors Youth Service for the young LGBT and gender diverse persons in Queensland.
The day started a little slow. I reckon it was way too early for most on a Saturday morning. In the vastness of the Captain Burke Park, what I found inspiring was the energy and eagerness of Open Doors’ staff and their young volunteers – flitting here and there, setting up or helping to set up the various community booths, putting up decorations, planting bean bags and making signages. Busy and tired as they were, the working bees were smiling and laughing.
Slowly, the young faces started to trickle in – happy, proud and gay. After the first hour of the 3rd QUEERIOSITY being officiated, there were young people mingling around the Healthy Communities (QAHC), Relationships Australia (RA), Queensland University of Technology (QUT) Queer Collective booths – picking up resources and freebies while learning about the services provided by these organisations and groups. Many also attacked the free sausage sizzle. The whiff from the barbie made me salivate a rabid dog on stage. But, the show had to go on.
On stage, my partner in crime was Beastie Al, a dashing character who was dressed in a snazzy ensemble fitting for the Logies – alas, he was at the wrong event. We were really, really, really impressed with the local young talents who had contributed their time to support the event; The Mouldy Lovers, Rawr Vanity, The Boys, Stiletto from the Empire Dance Crew, Kendall Lyte, Sleeping Cities. Off stage, Beastie and I constantly wished that we could sing like the young performers, but we could only croak. A former Brisbane-based performer, Just Lizzie, flew in from Melbourne to support the event. Up-and-coming young dragstar, Saphira von Wilde, brought a bus load from Lismore. The day was also packed with discussions/forums/workshops that were relevant to the young persons.
I met many, many awesome and positive young persons on the hot and balmy day; Jade, Beau, Miguel, Phoebe, Henri and just-call-me-Tina. Indeed, I was really honoured to be part of QUEERIOSITY 2012 and to be amongst the LGBT youths of Brisbane. I believe the we should create many more safe and friendly spaces and events for LGBT youths to socialise, be themselves and take their families and friends to – something that I did not get to experience when I was younger.
To find out more about services that Open Doors provide, how to get access to these services and how you can help to support its good work, click here.
See you at QUEERIOSITY 2013.
xxxChinta
the not-so-drama diaries 